Moment by moment

Minute by minute

You and I Disappear

Into the vast well of time.

All that was,

All that is,

All that will be

Mere mirages of the mind.

Embrace what is,

Enjoy while it lasts

For life and love and joy

Are fleeting at best.

There was a boy

Who loved too soon,

With a kind heart

And an easy smile.

There was a girl

Who guarded her heart,

With high flying dreams

And twinkling brown eyes.

There was a love

That never took off

Like a Song unsung,

Like a tale untold.

My life was a tiny boat

Upon a sea at low tide,

Nodding and bobbing

Among friendly waves…

Then you came along,

And Disrupted what I’d carefully built.

For a while, all was well,

The waves were calm and placid

My boat kept bobbing on,

In search of new horizons,

Sandy shores and lovely people.

One day, there was a wave

That came up all at once

Threw my little boat

Flat out on some rocks.

It blew leaks,

Its paint blistered,

It broke in half,

It sank to the bottom.

My first best friend

He had jet black hair and wide dark brown eyes. His skin was pale and silky smooth, his jaw tapered to a discernible pointed chin. He once told me that he wished he had dark tanned skin like mine. I was surprised. I had always wanted to look like him.

He was a boy I went to elementary school with. He was kind and sweet. We used to play together in the little playground under the building where we both lived. I used to hang from monkey bars because someone had once told me that that would make me grow tall. He always used to stand under, ready to catch me if I fell.

We went to school together, did homework together, played and read together. Our mothers used to joke that they’d have to literally pry us apart with a crowbar if we spent any more time together. I think he was my first best friend.

He always had a smile for me. Even the last time I visited him in the hospital, when his insides were Churned and ruined by cancer and chemotherapy, even when his eyelids were droopy from pain and fatigue, there was a smile on his face. When I cried, he held my hand. When I was leaving, he gave me a charm bracelet off his wrist. When I asked what that was for, he said, “so you’ll remember me when I’m not there”.

His funeral was a low-key affair. His parents looked sad and worn out. His mother hugged me close and kissed my hair when I went up to pay my respects. I wanted him to have something to remember me by as well. I had brought a book we had read together. As I left it by his side, I looked into his face. He looked like he had before, before the illness that took him. He looked happy and peaceful.

I still miss him.

Spring

Radiant is the sun

Clear and warm the day

Blue skies and not a cloud

Bright and sweet is the morn.

The light through the trees

Shine smooth and golden

The swing sets in the park

Full of kids and laughter.

The dew drops on the grass

The new shoots on the plants

The wildflowers looking up

Tell me Spring’s finally here.

 

Pointlessness and all his friends – part 2

Sometimes it feels like the human body is such an Inefficient design. It smarts at every outrage, it repairs itself at very slow rates, doesn’t regenerate organs (don’t throw liver at my face, it is only one organ, we have 50 others which can’t replicate to save their skins, pun intended) and lives only a fixed number of years. Perhaps an earthworm is a superior species.

The reason for this pointless meander about the human body is an article titled MPG of a human on a website called Do the Math  I randomly came across today. It is an older article, published in 2011 by a bloke called Tom Murphy who also maintains the website (I think). It compares the human body to automobiles based on calories consumed. The conclusion is that our bodies are at about 25% efficiency in converting the food that we consume into energy and that they are more efficient than most cars and an Iowa cornfield (?). While not suggesting that we replace walking/biking for cars, the article concludes with a proposal to choose more energy efficient cultivation and eating methods. I may have missed the whole point of the article.

P.S : I’m completely stalled at writing my thesis and am therefore ranting pointlessly while overdosing on Korean dramas, period ones in particular. Reminds me a little of the Mandarin ones I used to watch on TCS 8 while growing up.

Vienna, a bookgasm and cold train sandwiches

I was in Vienna yesterday for the arduous task of picking up my renewed passport. When I say arduous, I mean the ass-numbing boredom of spending five hours aboard a train. That much inactivity is enough to drive anyone up the walls. It is especially difficult for me because I have borderline ADHD (and functional dyslexia, if I were in Rick Riordan Universe, I’d probably be a demi-God). I walked about a little, went and stood near the door for some time, walked to the restaurant car and got a coffee. But there is only so much you can do when you are trapped in an almost empty carriage of metal and glass with a few other people, all engrossed in their phones.

When I reached the consulate, I found out that I was early by an hour and a half. They were still out for lunch. So I was in the centre of Vienna, where winter has briefly (I hope) returned to, with at least one and a half hours to kill. Then it occurred to me, I was in the centre of Vienna with one and a half hours to kill. It was freezing, of course, but what is a little cold when you are in one of the greatest cities in the world ?

I had been to Vienna many times, so there was nothing touristy left to do. I pretty much know it, not quite like the back of my hand, but maybe like the back of my, well, front. The week before, I had come across an article about places to visit in Vienna for a bibliophile on a website called Culture Trip. One of them (and the one that caught my eye ) was a bookstore called Shakespeare and Company booksellers. I thought it might be a branch of another amazing English bookstore I once visited in Prague, called Shakespeare and Sons bookstore (it isn’t). In Innsbruck, where I live, English books are hard to come by. Even in the biggest bookstores, English sections are sparse and about half the size of Harry Potter’s cupboard under the stairs. So out comes my phone, and thanks to Google maps, I now knew how to get there.

It wasn’t much of a walk from Wiener Staatsoper or Vienna State Opera house, near where the Embassy was, only about 1.5 kilometres. I walked through milling crowds of mostly tourists down a busy shopping thoroughfare, got lost twice but finally got there. The bookstore is in a small, almost Invisible alleyway called Sterngasse (literally, starry street). The bookstore sign was a rather cute painting of Shakespeare and the door said, “Come on in, we are open”.

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I walk in, and I’m completely taken in by surprise. It is unbearably quaint with books stacked from floor to ceiling, exactly as I had imagined Mr.Penumbra’s 24 hour bookstore, with actual creaking floorboards. It truly was a book lover’s dream come true. There is one main hall that you walk into, with shiny new books of various genres, looking upon you from all around. There are old, retro type frames on the wall with photos and rough paintings. Straight ahead is an alcove of sorts with a comfortable looking chair and again, books all around, some waiting to be sorted into the shelves. Then there is an inner sanctum with mainly children’s and young adult books. There are chairs all over, slightly haggardly placed, for customers to sit and read to their heart’s content. I wish I had more time, or I would definitely have taken advantage of that. From what I could see, it is run by three wonderful women (who were quite surprised when I actually asked permission to take pictures, a sad commentary on what we consider polite these days). There was only one other customer when I walked in, hopefully that was only an after lunch lull.

I don’t know if they stock second-hand books, none that I could see. So the books are a little pricey, or maybe they just appear pricey to me because I’ve been cheating on actual books with e-books lately. Needless to say, I will be visiting this store again. And now I know where exactly to take my similarly-minded friends  when they come to visit Vienna 😉

That was it for the soul yesterday. Afterwards I went back to the Embassy to collect my passport and trudged back to the train station for another unending train ride back home. The only silver lining in the journey for me was the food. It wasn’t exactly fine dining, and was rather simple, but I absolutely love the bacon and egg sandwich served aboard ÖBB trains. I think it was the fourth or fifth consecutive train ride on which I’ve ordered it. Plus it is cold (I am a strange creature who likes cold sandwiches), so, win-win !

When I saw you first

My heart beat wildly,

I whispered to it gently,

Patience, dear heart !

You walked in,

All tall and proud,

In your green uniform,

Stars agleam on your shoulder.

Your shy smile,

Your hidden heart,

Your lovely letters,

They became my life.

When I saw you last,

In that same uniform,

With more stars of valor,

My heart beat wildly, again,

Your face was bleak,

Your manner strained,

I wondered to myself,

If it was the last time.